Mumma's Boys aren't Growing Up!
Rise of SHEconomy by Morgan Stanley says, 45% of women aged 25 to 45 will remain single and childless by 2030. To be honest, I am not surprised, and I have accepted myself to be part of that statistic because of the kind of boys I come across.
When it comes to love and relationships, only two types of people decide to stay single: one defeated and the other injured. Wait, hold on a second! Let me say it in the language I initially thought: जब प्यार और शादी की बात आती है तो केवल दो तरह के लोग single रहने का फैसला करते हैं! एक तो हारा हुआ और दूसरा घायल।
Now, don’t be nosy about which category I belong to.
I’ve come across numerous single ladies in the prime of their life, rejecting the institution of marriage—not because they don’t want to tie themselves to one person, but because the idea of raising a child almost their age repels them. Also, settling down isn’t limited to getting married these days, and that goes for both genders.
But the reason women choose to stay single is that the opposite gender doesn’t want to man up! Rest assured, boys, it’s not an insult. Well, maybe it is. Hell, it is!
The boys are either a lot of drama or they are playboys. If not, then they’re emotionally unavailable or too focused on professional life—i.e., overambitious. And by any chance, if none of this is true, then either he’s emotionally (or completely) immature or a slacker/low-effort/passive partner.
Men are inherently providers because they’re supposed to put in effort (for everything). When they get something easily, they don’t respect or value it. That’s why mothers suggest their daughters to marry someone who loves them more—not the other way around.
Today, boys step back when it comes to taking emotional responsibility, ownership, providing consistency, and having clear conversations. It’s almost like they haven’t aged mentally and emotionally. Just like Koi Mil Gaya! But at least Rohit manned up for Nisha!
Women get frustrated when they’re the only ones putting in the effort in almost everything—which is supposed to be a guy’s role.
Most boys can’t drive a conversation, let alone start one! And let me make it clear—being dominant in bed doesn’t make you a man; it just makes you lustful, boys. You might be Kamdev (the god of desire), but that’s not going to help you hold a woman.
I was once told that marriages and romantic relationships are like rowing a boat with someone. Unless both of you row in the same direction, neither of you will move ahead—because it’s a team effort. In a relationship of two, if one plays both roles, then what’s the point of being together?
Also, on a related note: I often see videos where boys choose their mother over their girlfriend or wife—and she’s supposed to be okay with it. What if the tables turned? What if women decided the same thing—would you be able to accept that?
We don’t wish ill for your family or your mother, but oh boy! You have to cut the umbilical cord—you’re a grown-up individual now!
Mothers want their sons to get married not because he is of age, or ready, but because she is getting old and someone needs to take care of the Raja Beta.
A mother is the road that leads you to who you are. A father gives you resources and directions. But a life partner? He/she is your present and your future. They’re standing next to you, building the life with you in realtime.
And here’s where Indian households drop the ball. Indian mothers, particularly, need to take a step back when their sons fall in love or get married. Let them create their own unit.
But nope! They still want the son to orbit around them like a toddler. The emotional leash is never off.
They expect the same level of attention and blind obedience, forgetting that there’s another woman now who deserves that space too. The moment a man tries to balance the equation or even dares to support his wife, out comes the classic dialogue: “Biwi ka ho gaya hai!” Yes, aunty, he is someone’s husband now! And she’s not stealing him; she’s sharing life with him.
But of course, the rules are different when it’s about daughters. A married daughter is expected to adjust, detach, and blend into her husband’s family like sugar in tea. No complaints, no resistance.
Because “that’s how it is.” But for the son? The mother is the sun, and the rest must revolve.
So, to all the Indian boys reading this—cut the cord. Literally and emotionally. Be grateful for what your mother has done for you, but don’t make your partner pay for that gratitude.
And to Indian mothers—your son getting married is not a betrayal. He’s not a biwi ka ghulaam; he’s just grown up. Let him.
On that note, I’ll take your leave. Until next time, take a chill pill and drink lots of water for hydration.
XOXO
The Queen Of Random Things
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