Things I’ve Been Thinking About Lately

It's been quite a while since I posted something. I thought I would not write, but here I am, following my calling and doing things I love! I thought, why bother when no one will notice? But I did. And I missed writing my heart out and throwing it into the universe, not knowing who will catch it!

Cutting off from the digital world and distancing myself from the chaos made me realize how much I love slow life. Not that I wasn't enjoying it before, but the past two months made me appreciate the things I had stopped.

I stopped writing.

I stopped pouring my thoughts into words.

I stopped feeling the rush of hitting the publish button.

And it followed a sweet calm. There was no pressure, no urgency—just the realization that writing, for me, has always been about expression, not expectation.

But you know what else I stopped?

Taking things for granted. Holding myself responsible for everything negative. Waiting on people.

Since the year started, I have indulged myself into things that truly mattered to me. Just to revisit the old days and check if I still belong there. Turns out, the things that used to make me happy in childhood still have the same power over me. 

I still love spending hours doing creative activities, sitting on the balcony on a Sunday morning and gazing at the Sun from my bed, eating chocolates without any second thoughts, and staring at the ceiling fan with no stress in the world! 

You can say I fell in love with the stillness of life all over again! 

I found joy in little things-listening to music while cleaning my room, planning my meals, watching the birds return home after their winter break, and letting the days pass without urgency, just...existing! 

Every year, I write down my goals to keep myself motivated toward a bigger vision. But I make sure not to lose sight of my purpose, passion, and love amidst the chase for materialistic things. I love a balance between rush and hush. 

I agree, I have the privilege to live my life on my terms, but it took me a while to build this and takes constant effort to maintain it. 

This year’s agenda is to live a quality life, to engage in activities that bring joy and belonging, to connect with people with whom communication feels effortless, and to enjoy every meal prepared with love and affection.

At the end of the day, I feel a sense of satisfaction because I am not ticking off a list and running off to another task. I relish every big and little moment that decide to incorporate in my life. 

Also, this was my realization two years ago, but I’m sharing it with you today because it would be selfish of me not to- Once you stop clicking pictures for the Gram, you feel a strange sense of relief. You start enjoying the moment for what it is, without any pressure to share it with the world. Since then, I refused to cage myself in social media, choosing to share only what I genuinely want strangers and acquaintances to know. And if you want to learn more, then you simply have to become part of my life. 

The stillness of my life brought me a different type of clarity!

Clarity about what truly brings me peace.

Clarity about the weight I no longer wish to carry.

Clarity about the things I no longer wish to chase.

I used to think if you want someone to be part of your life, you have to make an effort to bring them in. But now I see, showing them a welcoming sign and offering them warmth and love is enough. It takes two to tango!

Also, sometimes productivity is learning to pause without any guilt. 

I am allowing myself to just be, without any need to prove or explain. People and things that truly want to stay will stay, no matter what—and even find ways to come back. Those who don’t will find excuses and reasons.

Hence...

It's 12 in the afternoon on the Friday, and instead of going to the office, I decided to ditch the obligatory tasks. I’m sitting in my room, sipping homemade cold coffee, and writing this love letter to you, my dear reader. The plan for the day is to prepare a fresh meal while Indian classical music plays softly in the background, enjoy a solo date in the evening, read a little, and live as if this moment is all I have.

In the past two months, I have asked the right questions: 

Why do we always wait for something to change before we allow ourselves to slow down? 

Why do we need an excuse in the name of burnout, heartbreak, fight, exhaustion to finally give ourselves permission to unwind? 

So, I stopped waiting. I let myself be slow, quiet, unrushed. And in doing so, I rediscovered pieces of myself I thought were long-lost.

I don't know what comes next. And it has never scared me.

With Lots of Love & Kiss Kiss 

The Queen of Random Things