The Birthday Jitters are Bloody Real!!!

I was supposed to celebrate my birthday in Mumbai by having dinner at a 12-seater chef counter restaurant. But my plan quickly changed, just like my New Year resolution to exercise religiously! Some things didn't fall into place and I decided to change the whole picture. One thing you should know about me is that I enjoy celebrating my birthday with either close ones or complete strangers because they will have no filters, and they wish you well. The in-betweeners are just meh! 

Also, I have a love-and-hate relationship with my birthday, which makes it confusing to plan something for my special day. This issue gets resolved by strangers or close ones because they make the whole plan for you (Or at least give you ideas about what to do!). You see for almost 5 years I dreaded my birthday and had mixed feelings. I had unknowingly latched onto bad memories of the day, which had taken a strong space in my mind. The negative feelings haunted me and used to give me an overwhelming vibe. I didn't want to relive those moments, and the anticipation made me scared. But there are some battles you cannot fight alone, and this was the one for me. 

One of my friends spotted and addressed the issue a few years ago. I heard her screaming loudly on the call, "If you don't tell people how you feel and what you want, how will they know?!" Fair enough, so I had the difficult conversation with her and cleared the air! Expressing my feelings has never been an easy task for me because I always feel like I will put myself in a vulnerable spot. But then I realized what's the point of holding horses?? People are going to act the way they are supposed to, the good ones will value, and the bad ones will take advantage! I just decided to blur out my feelings and allowed the person to make the next move. 

The result?? She and a few of my other friends planned an evening at a beautiful place with delicious food, including a home-baked cake. All I said was, "I want to feel Home on my birthday, if that makes sense to you!" And boy she delivered it! That was one beautiful night, I must say. Since then, I haven't looked back. I still get confused about my birthday, I feel like doing everything or nothing. 

Every year after that has been a little less chaotic and scary. Talking about problems might not solve them, but it definitely makes you feel heard and light. We don't realize it, but some experiences leave a lasting impact in the back of our minds and change us forever. But avoiding them becomes heavier each time. But don't go running around sharing the whole world. Have one confidant. Take my suggestion and hire personal experts for various categories, such as, professional, personal, romantic, financial, and sexual, and you will surround yourself with meaningful bondings with knowledgeable people. 

At the end of the day, life isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about having the right people to ask the questions to. Not everyone needs to know your struggles, but having a handful of solid people in different aspects of life? That’s a game-changer. Over the years, I’ve realized that celebrating myself—on my birthday or any other day—isn’t about how fancy the plan is; it’s about feeling understood, seen, and truly at ease.

And today, as I turn a year older, I remind myself that I don’t have to have everything figured out. Some birthdays will be wild and extravagant, others will be quiet and cosy, and that’s perfectly fine. Because at the heart of it all, the best way to celebrate life is with people who make you feel at home—whether it’s my inner circle or complete strangers who just get it.

PS: If you’re planning to wish me, give me a call instead of dropping messages. Greet me in person instead of wishing on call (if you’re in the same city). And the rest of you—well, you’ve already planned the treasure hunt week for me, so leave it be! 😉🎁🎊