The Bhagavat Gita emphasizes that to attain moksha, children must care of their parents. Sharvan Kumar's tale stands out in ancient Hindu texts as an exceptional example. On the contrary, ignoring parental care will account for bad karma. It seems conditional, doesn't it? Sometimes, I wonder about invalidated values our ancestors passed down. Well, they didn't understand toxic parents, unhealthy parental love, helicopter parenting and generational trauma because those concepts were still evolving!
Such ignorant attitude leads Indian parents to think they own their kids, expecting them to take care of them(parents) once they're become incapable. What I admire the most about the West is the balance of freedom and responsibility they instil in children from birth. They provide enough closeness for children to feel loved, yet enough distance for individual growth. The concept of 'Empty Nest' allows both parents and children to achieve enough space to bond with each other and explore new phrases of life without pressure and limitation. It's a win-win situation.
Unfortunately, Indian parents do not understand the value of mistakes and detachment, crucial for a child's development. Excessive pampering and lack of boundaries disturbs a child's holistic growth-physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and karmically. I think they forget they once were the kids. Numerous adults live a lie due to incessant parental pressure. I've witnessed friends marrying and having kids merely to end parental nagging, living in fear.
Disagreeing with parents doesn't mean children doesn't love or respect them--it's generational discourse. It's a natural process that follows every generation. Indian parents need lessons in settling boundaries at various life stages, taught by their children, as parents often struggle to upgrade their mindset as they age. They must be shown the realities of the new era, even if it's uncomfortable.
Moreover, the notion that marriage equates to starting a new family must evolve. Parents need to accept that their children's priorities shift after marriage. Rather than enforcing care obligation, why not live separately but respectfully, if that's what the children want? I am not suggesting extreme steps like disownment like Gautam Singhania (The owner of Raymond Group), but finding a common ground with pragmatic thinking where everyone retains their integrity and dignity.
Old-age homes have been given such a sinister image that it almost sounds like a sin to consider placing your folks in such places. How hard can it be to live peacefully with the same age group, where one isn't a burden on young family members who aren't willing to take on that role in the first place? The narrative needs to change, and today I have the power to do that.
I've seen individuals of various ages complain about their parents' backwardness, concluding that Indian parents are ignorant and selfish, but who is ready to tell them?
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Until next time, contemplate on it!
The Queen of Random things
xoxo
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