Peer Pressure Is Killing the Modern-day Marriages

There is no such thing as "The right person." Let me first establish that! I don't believe in this concept of the right man or the right woman. I don't know who came up with this concept, but in this so-called evolved and open-minded world, one must stop using such terms. In my opinion, marriage is whose shit you can tolerate the most! If the shoe fits, then that is the most suitable person for you. That doesn't mean others are bad. You can fall in love with the person you least expected, which isn't in your hand, but going ahead with that person is. 

These days marriage is a tricky thing. If we talk about previous generations. The lifestyle was simple. Society was cruel to people who didn't follow the rules but didn't eliminate them. Making a living was comparatively easy because our nation was trying to stand on its feet after the backfire of British rule. There weren't many professional choices to make. During the olden days, ladies were expected to be homemakers, build the family and tie everyone together. Life was simple then. The communication tools were limited and going abroad was considered a bold decision. That was the time when 9-5 existed and made sense and they never imagined about graveyard shifts. There were limited means of entertainment and socializing was one of the most engaging and widely accepted activities to bond. Anyone going out of this routine was seen as an act of blasphemy. 

Today, we have work from home, day & night shifts, numerous OTT platforms, multiple curriculum activities, a massive number of professional fields and whatnot. The world has become a small village and it has become a competitive place, irrelevant of your age. Women are working with men and walking shoulder to shoulder. The human race has changed drastically. Everyone has their own opinion, mindset, thought process, lifestyle and goal. As an individual, the vertical to grow has become so wide that one can literally be whoever they want to be. Yet I don't know how we still manage to create the same pressure for the forthcoming generation for marriage! We still have the same mindset and approach to marriage, which is starting to become irrelevant. My question is: If you can no more rely on one source of income because of the uncertainty of geopolitics and other reasons, how can you follow the same old model for marriage?

Gone are those days when getting married in your 20s, having kids by your 30s and getting retired at 60 worked. Times have changed. People are studying, coping with the competitive fields, finding their calling, looking for their passion, understanding themselves, travelling the world and whatnot. There is so much to accomplish in this world of the internet. Everything is limitless. It just doesn't work same for everyone today!

Nowadays, women have to balance between their work and personal life, friends and colleagues, kids and husband. When it comes to men, they have to make sure to take up the role as a bread winner whether they like it or not. 

People marry wrongly due to reasons like self-awareness, social and family pressure, FOMO, and so on. Hence, many couples' social media lives differ from reality. People increasingly stay in bad marriages, misunderstanding them as love and sacrifice. Being happy becomes a challenge in this scenario. I find it scary to be married to someone who accepts you completely but doesn't work at all on merging two lives. And then you will see these people gallivanting.

It is what it is not a bad idea in marriage, but marriage demands overlapping, not coexistence. We aren't in the wild. We are talking about sharing life, not sharing the planet.  

So when Katrina Kaif said in the Commerical of Titan Raga that don't get married because all your friends are married, listen to her. The idea of marriage is not to make someone happy but to spend a lifetime with someone who enhances the quality of your life, uplifts you, and polishes the hidden sparkle within you. Take your time. The society doesn't know what's best for you. Settle when it upgrades the level of your life and not otherwise.

On that note, I will take a leave for a beautiful weekend. Stay happy, Stay blessed. 

With lots of love and kisses, 

The Queen of Random Things