At the beginning of last year, someone told me that my lifestyle, routine, and mindset would change drastically in the coming years. The change will be so massive that people around me will be able to notice it. Well, I believed it and since then, I have manifested the positive changes I wanted. Halfway down the year, I am surprised to see myself the way I have turned out. Honestly, the younger version of myself will not comprehend my way of living and she is not supposed to. But right now, when I look back, I don't know who I was 2 years ago and it is astonishing to realize that it is the same person - in the depth of it! I always tell a friend, "I will never fail to surprise you." But I didn't realize the list would someday include myself too. Have you ever been amazed by yourself, my dear reader? So far, the year has brought me good, bad and strange experiences and I have no complaints because I enjoyed every one.
I was MIA for a long time, but I am not sorry. The break I took from everything and everyone was necessary not because I was tired of them but because I wanted to step back and analyse, filter and manage everything differently. Figuring out a new method and transforming myself into a new shape took some time. And no, I didn't have writer's block, but I didn't feel like writing and didn't want to force myself into doing something that wasn't from my heart. Eventually, I did miss writing and sharing my thoughts with you, my dear reader. I missed getting feedback, constructive criticism, debates, compliments and remarks. Hence, my heart was again in the right place to reconnect with you.
But the time away was totally worth it. I learned a few things, failed trying something new, lost some and gained more. Learning and exploring new things keeps me going in life. Over time, I have learned many new things that made me think and changed my thought process.
I always strongly advocated that time doesn't heal anything; we learn to live with the pain. But from my recent experience, I realized that it's not the time, but our perspective and approach towards a negative experience decide our faith. We have a simple choice to make. First, you can either relive the pain and linger on it for a long time or forever. Second, you can make peace with the fact, accept it and move on to become free from it. And the last one, you can pick up certain good or bad things from that experience and change yourself accordingly. It is how you want to remember or forget it.
One thing I have learned this year is that mistakes are inevitable. Sushmita Sen tells Simi Garewal that she is not afraid of failure because she is aware that she is human and that we tend to make mistakes. That is life. You can't be hard on yourself for that. Mistakes mean you try and learn from them. Every day is an opportunity to be a better version of yourself. Forgive yourself for things you can amend or amend your behaviour.
This one is old, "सोच बदलो आदतें नहीं क्योंकि सोच बदलने से आदतें अपने आप ही बदल जाती है". I swear this is a game-changer. When it becomes difficult to break a circle/pattern, just change how you think about it by doing a little research. Once your mind accepts the truth, you can easily change your habit. Be it lifestyle choices or food that we eat. We need a logical explanation to adopt something good - that's the world we live in.
This one is deep and I recently learned it. Actor Ravi Dubey shares in an interview that Respect has to outlive Love. You will work on a relationship, be with the person and dedicate yourself to someone you respect. Without respect, relationships are nothing but a social tag for two people who are tied romantically or unromantically (in many cases, they are blood relationships), but there is nothing left between them. It struck me hard because it indeed is true. He says, the old couples we see holding hands - after a certain point, they reach a level where love, romance, flirting, novelty disappears. What remains is their respect for each other for dedication, companionship, compromise and vulnerability. I agree. That's when it hit me hard that people cheat on their romantic partners due to the lack of respect, or else they wouldn't do it(either they would work on the relationship or leave). They might not respect a part of their partner, mostly the negative according to them and that's why they choose to go out of that bond.
I read this one years ago, but I experienced it this year and second it. When things change within you, things change around you. In other words, be the change you want to see in the world. I cannot tell how true this is. Sometimes the problem isn't the outside. It is our inability to suitably deal with them and see them from the right angle.
Since writing this blog in 2021, I have learned that people bond more strongly with sorrows than happiness. Because happiness is easy to share and understand, there are no layers of emotions. However, when it comes to grief, it's complicated and there are multiple feelings involved. When we see someone walking through the same lane, we feel connected through those feelings. It makes us feel we aren't alone in this battle and gives us a chance to bond with common factors.
I saw something on the internet where Big B tells his audience, "मन का हो तो अच्छा और न हो तो और à¤ी अच्छा है". For the longest time, he didn't understand the words of his late father. A chapter of my life taught me this beautiful takeaway. It's important for things to go differently(time to time) from how we wish because if every time things happen according to how we want, we will become arrogant and wouldn't grow as an individual. We need to be grateful for our existence and being among other living creatures. We wouldn't be thankful for our life and other things. Plus, the biggest lessons of life come from uncomfortable experiences. According to Big B's father, when things don't happen according to your wish, a divine power plans something else for you, greater than what you comprehend and see. So have faith!
To know yourself better, one needs to be alone, which we call me-time. We don't get to connect with ourselves regularly because we are too busy with the outer world. Thus, it is important to isolate yourself to spend time with your soul spiritually, physically and mentally. In the age of mobile phones and unlimited swiping options, we must make a stronger connection with ourselves by putting aside everything and listening to our thoughts.
PC once said, "Good girls don't make history. Bold girls do." It goes for everyone because being good forces you to ignore negativity and be the angel version of yourself (In my words, the version society decides for us). But the bold version is ready to watch, notice and understand good and bad characteristics, doesn't resend and brings the best of two worlds. You cannot win every battle by being good. Sometimes you have to unleash your demon.
I decided to turn to the next chapter of my life and along with the growth, it brought some major changes in my social skills and circle. If you aren't losing friends, then you aren't growing up. Trust me. It hit me hard. But we do outgrow people in life. Change and growth is the only constant in human life. If not, we aren't making the most of our existence because we are social animals. After a particular time, you need less but quality people around you, I have heard adults saying this and it is turning out to be true. We also let loose those friends who are challenging to maintain because they are high maintenance with low value. And it is a natural process.
I hope some of my learnings clicks to you, my dear reader. Until next time, I hope it starts raining and I promise I won't be too long.
Love and Kiss-kiss
The Queen of Random things
Comments
Post a Comment