Rationally Rejecting The Married Bunch

I have written 25 blogs since last November, but this article is the scariest of them all. I have had this subject in my mind since I started writing, but I lacked the courage to pen it down and publish it publicly. Mainly because I would hate people's judgment on me and my mindset. However, life is short, and you live only once, so I am going ahead with my feeling & dropping this bomb before Diwali to crackle. 

A wise friend once told me when I was 28, "The period between 28 to 31 is the hardest period to pass. You will see almost everyone getting married and having kids. Every time you open social media, you will end up watching a wedding announcement or a kid on board news. You will feel loneliest during these years. You will loathe yourself for being single and not having someone by your side." And trust me, it was true. For the past 4 years, I have been watching people my age getting married and having kids. Now, most of them are in round 2 of having a kid. However, I have become indifferent to such things because I don't want this life.  

97% of my friends, schoolmates, batchmates, collegemates, close friends, officemates, and professional mates are married, but I hardly see them happy! I often wonder if they are in a relationship for the hack of it because the idea of being single/alone is scary or if they are unaware of the aftermath of marriage. Well, whatever that might be, I see most of them living two lives—one as a happily married person and another as a free-spirited promiscuous bird. Yes, there I said it: Everyone is going out & about! Ladies, if you think your man can't do anything wrong by you because he loves you, then you're mistaken, and men you think your wife is innocent and cannot cross the line, think again. 

Everyone wants to feel loved, valued, respected, wanted, and primarily special. We know that every relationship becomes boring, mundane, and monotonous after a particular time or years. It becomes challenging to keep the relationship's spark or charm alive. By the way, remember: It takes TWO to Tango! Extra metrical affairs happen because something is lacking either in the marriage or the person. Please don't believe in social media, as it's deceiving. In many cases, the married one likes the version of themselves around the person they aren't married to. 

A few years ago, I would have flipped aggressively and totally rejected the idea of being involved with a married person. However, now I am a different person. No! I am not advocating having affairs while being married or engaging yourself with a married person. I am just saying it's okay if you want to be with someone married. If the married one isn't thoughtful while being a spouse and a parent, it's not your responsibility to be their moral guardian. I would still not recommend anyone to be in a romantic relationship with someone married for totally different reasons.    

First, the married one cannot devote themselves to you for a day, a night, or even an hour. A part of them (and a big part) entirely belongs to the MR or MRS. My question is, being single, why would you want to be with something half ass? The 2nd one is tricky and deep. When a person goes out of their marriage (I said goes out not walk out!) for sex, they make a clear choice. They are choosing that the thing is more important than their spouse, kids, parents, and family (Fuck society, they are going to speak in every case.) My point is someone like that would never put you on the priority list because the moment they find the next best option, they will leave. There is no loyalty even if you are the god/goddess of sex. They can walk out on you as soon as they see someone new. 

The most important reason, the married one will put all the effort in the start to have you by your side. They will make time for you, take you out for lunch and dinner, romantic getaways and trips, weekend parties, and everything possible to make you feel like you are the most important person in their world. Cut-to: The moment they realize they have possession over you, they will take you for granted and lose interest. All of a sudden: "It's difficult for me, I can't do it; it was in the start, the problems were there then too, It's hard for me now" will come. They will become aware that they hold a grip on you and will play with you the way they find fit. 

A man/guy needs no reason to go out of his marriage. He can just do it for the heck of it (Look at Adam Levine! He cheated on his Victoria's Secret model-wife for an Instagram model!!). Most men would define extramarital affairs as nothing or meaningless thing. Now when it comes to women! When a woman goes out of the marriage, it's generally to end it, but this is in 60% of cases. The married one sticks to a dead relationship mainly due to kids because the not-guilty tiny humans deserve both parents. Then comes the parents, who in Indian society aren't big on divorce (or due to their age and medical condition). Lastly comes the family and society because the married one isn't courageous enough to fight against the world for their life. Hence, they would continue the malarky about their soulless marriage, but not leave. However, the most interesting part is what these individuals or partners would do once all the reasons start dying. Would they still be together or separate or fall in love again with each other? 

I know it's a controversial statement, but I will still say it. If you are single, it's not entirely wrong to be with someone married. Fuck ethics because we do that on a daily basis, so don't be a hypocrite in this matter. When it comes to human emotions, there are not only white & black zones. There is also a grey zone. And no matter how much you disagree, my dear reader, we all love falling into a grey zone from time to time for different reasons. 

Make peace with yourself that this isn't a forever thing, that you will never be the first choice, and that you will always be the outsider. If you can handle that, then have at it until it creeps you out, and once the emotions start showing, it's time to bid goodbye to the married one because no matter how angel-like good they are. You deserve more and you are worthy of something better. I state this because no matter how clearly I have explained the reasons not to be with a married person, most of us are going to indulge ourselves in it minimum for a night to the maximum depending on you.

On that serious note I take a leave for a pre-festive weekend and I do expect my phone to ring on & off due to this blog. Advance Diwali wishes to you all!!!

Until next time love & kiss kiss 

The Queen of Random things