Settlement with the Bare Minimum.........??!!

Many of us are in a relationship where we don't feel fulfilled and feel disconnected from the person. I was once taught to have consistency in order to achieve great results, and I knew that made sense, but I guess I forgot the same theory goes for everything in life. I have seen failed marriages where both the partners are going out and still maintaining their atrocious marriage, mainly because they are fooled that their partners are loyal. Some people pretend to be friends in the name of convivence because they cannot afford to be unknown to each other. I have always wondered how people manage to be in a broken relationship because I can't even finish a sandwich I don't like-- relationship is a far-fetched idea. 

People change daily for various reasons, and that's in no one's hands. Hell, even I am not the same person I was at the beginning of the year. That does change our equation with people closer to us because we might outgrow an idea or thought process we connected on initially. And I guess it's okay to lose connection with people who don't put consistency in their efforts, feelings, and behavior. I have learned the hard way that even if you pre-decide that you want this person in your life and you wouldn't like to end it on a wrong note, sometimes it just ends without notice. 

Relationships are tricky, romantic, or non-romantic. You cannot expect the person to put in the same effort when you aren't putting in the same effort. One needs to keep up with the same level of action to keep the spark of the relationship alive. Friendship fades, and marriages fail because people don't put the same input into those connections the way they used to in the start. We come across many people these days thanks to multiple platforms, but how many are actually fruitful? That's because we are expecting them to fill the void in our life without offering them anything. People fear meeting someone new, opening up, and exposing their feelings because they fear they will get judged or used. Any relationship is a two-way street; you can't be the only one fighting for it. 

A romantic relationship requires loving from both partners, friendship needs efforts from both friends, and a lustful bond demands attention from both sides. A one-way street is hurtful and takes you nowhere, and this is when things start ending. And I wonder if people understand, but such equations don't last forever. One day the person putting their whole heart will realize their value, get a reality check, and start wondering if being empathetic with the person is the right thing to do. They will realize their energy is drained by someone who doesn't understand their value. If their actions and words aren't the same, if they keep failing their commitment, if they come when they want entertainment, then sadly, you are just settling for nothing. The person refuses to grow up and to work on the relationship actively. You need to be loud enough to tell them you need more because you deserve it. The bare minimum in any relationship is being respected, supported, appreciated, and understood.

People with a lack of constancy are usually afraid, afraid to get hurt again, afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to trust, and afraid to lose not just the opposite person but also themselves. They are already broken. They need to understand that they need healing, and healing starts when they accept the pain inside them rather than repressing it. Repressed and ignored feelings usually come out in the wrong places and take a bad shape, preventing you from being a better person and stopping you from being strong again. 

These are hurt people, and they hurt more people. Agreed, no one enjoys pain, but you grow with experience, not comfort! I know the feeling: The day goes by normally as if nothing happened but then comes the night, you are alone with your thoughts, and it becomes difficult to face those feelings and accept them because they don't bring us joy. 

"I am not settling for the bare minimum when I know what I am expecting is right. I respect your fears and choices but I cannot set the bar low for myself nor I can change my life pattern for anyone else. I would like to be on a receiving end too and if you can't give me the basics that I am worthy of then you are losing me for good." I recently heard someone uttering these empowering words. We stay in such a relationship because we primarily think we deserve it, but we don't. Then come the outer reasons, which are countless. We are worth more than the bare minimum. The bare minimum for any relationship is respect, understanding, forgiveness, support, appreciation,  and compromise. 

On that note, my dear reader, the Queen of Random Things wishes you happiness. I hope the festival of Goddess brings immense power to you. 

With Lots of Love

XOXO