Unsaid-Unsend-Unspoken-Unshared-Unwritten

A Proposal I Would Love To Act On Someday 

Just to let you know openly, I have like you from quite some time, and today, I have gathered the courage to ask you out. I want to take you out on a date. I am not saying I want marriage or I want commitment, or I want a promise. I am just saying I like you and would love to know more about you. More as in as a person and not just as a friend but as someone special! And then we can decide if it works or not. We both will get this opportunity to know someone closely without losing the pillar of friendship.

The Acceptance I've Had Years Ago While Talking To A Friend 

I am aware that I am not the pretties or the hottest girl in the room, so no one would pick me for the way I look. I have never been picked by a guy in a pub because I don't show my skin, and I don't have a lean body. But once you have a conversation with me, I know I will leave a mark in your mind or heart. You will like me for my personality, mindset, attitude, thoughts, and maturity. And I guess I will be more happy if a guy likes me for who I am rather than how I look. Isn't that more realistic?

Disappointed Lover In me Became A Poet

You chose not to come and sit in your study room! You chose not to drive for 300kms for 5 hours. You chose not to try and fail, but you chose to be safe and guarded! You chose not to stick with me for what I said when you felt comfortable and not when I asked you to leave. You chose to stay away not because I asked you to but because that's what even you wanted. If you really didn't want to stay away from me, then you would have found a way to reach me. You chose not to work on us and blamed me for everything. You chose your ego over me, and it won!

Guess this is the last thing I will write for you, to you! Can't tell you how disappointed and hurt I am at this point. I chose wrong!

When Someone Asked Me How Do You Do it

Honestly, there are times when I find life dull. Even I go through meltdowns. Sometimes when I look at old pictures of old dates and friends, I end up asking myself, "What happened?!" My eyes do get moist because of old memories with mixed feelings. There are times I feel weak that I can't even stand up and literally google search 'How to feel better', 'How to divert my mind' or 'How to get over something/someone'. Sometimes I even look around just to see someone's struggle and feel better about myself that I am not the only one. 

There is just a lot behind a beautiful smiling face. Some people hide it well, and then there are people like me who amplifies happiness, so the rest of the things get sidelined. And people think she is fine and always happy. 

When I Ended Up Ranting With A Friend 

I miss conversations where I find myself with an undivided thought process. Lack of healthy talk makes me go mad sometimes. I don't know where my life is leading me or where I am leading my life. But sometimes, I do feel I wish I could change the course of my life. I am unsure if it's loneliness or the feeling of being left out that's bothering me, although I am sure one of these feelings is making me feel low about myself. It's strange that I have answers to numerous questions, but still, I can't find an answer to this question, "How to stop feeling this?" Out of desperation, I end up doing things I later regret, but there is no point by then. Is it just my hormones jumping due to PMS, or is it just a bad day?  

While Explaining A Friend 

When your heart is involved with someone, it's only you who feels that way. It's time to learn and understand the hard truth. Only two people on the same page can expect things from each other. Otherwise, things get ugly. But there is another aspect of reality when you start seeing others. Even though your heart still wants that person, it doesn't change the truth that you have a feeling for that particular someone. Nor are you bamboozling yourself. It only means that you have started accepting the truth, and that's called getting mature!! I guess that is what the world calls acting like an adult!! 

During An Interview

It's a constant battle between the outside self and the inside self. The outside self is stronger, chirpy, and always smiling. But the inside self is fragile, like a baby who always needs attention. The fight between the two isn't easy whenever they have an argument. However, the outside self always has to put up a smile for the world to show everything is fine.

Meanwhile, the inside self struggles to come out and feels suffocated at times. Between the battle of these two, the outside self mostly wins. But sometimes, it allows the inside self to win and come out to breathe in the real world. 

The Queen of Random Things 

XOXO