My Turn

"I have had it enough!" That's what I told myself 6 months ago when someone mistreated me and I still tell the same thing to myself almost every day. Trust me, these past six months have been a hoot of experiences. I have no idea where time is going, but it is certainly bringing many things on my way. Many interesting and intriguing things with a lot of changes! Change is the only constant and honestly, even if I forget this fact my life lives by it. I am an adamant lover of change and an observant admirer as well. I watch it closely every time it passes. 

As a part of that, this year I have stopped taking craps from people. Call it being in the 30s or whatever it doesn't matter. I have learned to say NO! That's my biggest achievement, my dear reader. Yes, I am blunt and on the face but still, I am polite and I have hard times pushing NO out of my mouth. But finally, after a long time, I am able to say no to things that do not suit me, to people who mellow my spirits, and to things that just discourage me. You know, it is funny how the world doesn't accept negative changes without even understanding what led a person to become so bitter about something. Well, I don't exactly support the idea of becoming bad but sometimes being bad is all you need to become a better version of yourself. 

Ending a relationship is one of the most tedious things for me and I could never do it. It wasn't only limited to romantic relationships. For the longest period in my life, I carried the burden of relationships that didn't give me anything positive. In fact, they kept demeaning me. I have recently learned that sometimes you need to make certain mistakes knowingly, only to understand why you shouldn't make them again.  

It has taken me a decade to finally understand that I need to put myself first no matter what! (By the way, am I not using finally too much in this article?!) So after being stupid for almost my entire 20s I have started putting myself at the start of my life. I am my hero! I have started saying no to the guys I don't want to go out with, I have started saying no to the professional opportunities that aren't up to my standards, I have stopped engaging with people who harm my aura and I am so thankful to myself for that. 

Yes in the process I have become blunt, bitter, and sometimes a fighter. Yet, I am unapologetic about it!

I have realized, "मुझे ज़िंदगी में उन लोगों के साथ बैठना है जिनकी life में ग़म बहुत हो पर वह उस ग़म पमें भी ख़ुशी ढूंढ ले॥" (This is my original by the way!) This realization made me filter people around me. Consequently, I have started expressing my feelings to my friends when I am hurt, started fighting and arguing with my close ones to make them realize things about me. I have literally stopped talking to a bunch of people who claimed to be my well-wishers but act like a crocodile behind my back, I have blocked a few people who add negativity to my positive vibes and I have bid goodbye to people who no longer add value to my life. 

 

What is Good without Bad?

Someone who used to be very important to me once told me, "The problem with you is, you don't say what you want or how you feel. But you highlight what you don't want and hide your feelings." I guess I am done doing that. For what it's worth I would rather say and regret than not say and regret. I will just say, don't condemn negative changes rather embrace them and try to understand their birthplace as it will make a lot of sense after that. It's the bad in us that makes us thrive more. 

 

You can't have it all and speak your heart. Well, I would risk it then because I know the ones worth it will stay and the rest will just get cleaned. 

So if I have declined to go on a date with you, you aren't worth it, If I haven't accepted your apology then saying it isn't enough. If I have slapped you (Not physically) and it hurt you hard, buddy you had it coming. Thus, the next time when someone's character takes a 180 to 360-degree turn and you are flabbergasted to witness it, just know that the person had it enough. 

Now, at this point in life, I have decided to make it about me. It is MY TURN now to play the cards, and tricks and decide the rules of the game.  

On an early morning on a Thursday while witnessing the rain of the season in Pune I had this thought running in my mind and I wanted to share it with you, my reader. Negatives are part of our life as much as positives as Osho says and there is no point in avoiding them. The more you avoid them they come back harder and stronger. This might not be one of my best writeups, but I wanted to shed light on the negative. So while I was standing on the balcony enjoying the breezy and quiet night when a few droplets came on my face and left me with a smile. The sweet smell of wet soil made me realize Life is beautiful. My bad experiences led me to the person I am today and I am proud of her. I have done things I never imagined doing and I am turning into someone I always wanted to be with. And that fulfilling sense of achievement was good enough to let me have a good night's sleep Because like I said, What is Good without Bad!

Until next time, if you have seen any changes in me do let me know. I would love to hear more from you guys. Good or bad, all are welcomed. I have a lovely weekend ahead, which I was looking forward to for months! Just going to spice up this weekend to add more days into my life. :P 

Happiest Monsoonwala Romantic नही तो Joyful weekend to you, my reader.

The Queen of Random Things   

XOXO